AQA Love and Relationships

Power and Control in Love and Relationships8 key quotes across the anthology.

How control, possession and inequality distort love in some relationships.

All Power and Control Quotes

“That moment she was mine, mine, fair, perfectly pure and good”
Porphyria's Lover — Robert Browning
Power and ControlRomantic Love

Context: The speaker's thoughts just before he murders Porphyria.

Analysis

The repetition of "mine, mine" reveals the speaker's obsessive desire to possess Porphyria entirely. He kills her to freeze this "perfect" moment of ownership before it can change. Browning exposes how possessive love becomes deranged and murderous.

Language Techniques:

RepetitionDramatic monologuePossessive pronoun

Exam Tip

Key quote for control and toxic possession. Compare the controlling male voice with the Duke in My Last Duchess (also Browning).

“In one long yellow string I wound three times her little throat around, and strangled her”
Porphyria's Lover — Robert Browning
Power and ControlLoss and Absence

Context: The speaker describes murdering Porphyria with her own hair.

Analysis

The chillingly calm, methodical description ("three times") conveys the speaker's detachment and madness. Using her own "yellow string" of hair turns a symbol of beauty into the murder weapon. The diminutive "little throat" emphasises her vulnerability and his dominance.

Language Techniques:

Disturbing calm toneEnjambmentSymbolism

Exam Tip

Use for the violence of obsessive control. The matter-of-fact tone makes the murder more disturbing.

“And yet God has not said a word!”
Porphyria's Lover — Robert Browning
Power and Control

Context: The final line, as the speaker sits with the corpse all night.

Analysis

The speaker interprets God's silence as approval, revealing his complete delusion and lack of remorse. The exclamation conveys a disturbing satisfaction. Browning leaves the reader with the chilling thought that the murderer feels entirely justified.

Language Techniques:

End-stopped exclamationReligious allusionDramatic irony

Exam Tip

Powerful closing quote on madness and the absence of guilt. Contrast with the guilt felt in other relationship poems.

“Three Summers since I chose a maid, too young maybe - but more's to do at harvest-time than bide and woo”
The Farmer's Bride — Charlotte Mew
Power and ControlLoss and Absence

Context: The farmer explains how he hastily married his young wife.

Analysis

The verb "chose" treats the bride as a possession selected like livestock, reflecting the farmer's lack of romantic understanding. "Too young maybe" hints at the marriage's flaw, while prioritising "harvest-time" over courtship shows love subordinated to practicality. Mew exposes a loveless, patriarchal marriage.

Language Techniques:

DialectPossessive dictionDramatic monologue

Exam Tip

Use for control and the woman's lack of agency. The farmer never understands his wife's fear.

“But her eyes, her eyes, beat like a frightened fay”
The Farmer's Bride — Charlotte Mew
Power and Control

Context: The farmer describes his wife's terror of him and other people.

Analysis

The simile comparing her eyes to a "frightened fay" (fairy) presents the bride as a wild, trapped creature recoiling from human contact. The repetition "her eyes, her eyes" reveals the farmer's fixation. Mew conveys the woman's fear and the violence implicit in forced intimacy.

Language Techniques:

SimileRepetitionAnimal/fairy imagery

Exam Tip

Use for female fear and entrapment. The bride is dehumanised as an animal throughout the poem.

“before you were mine”
Before You Were Mine — Carol Ann Duffy
Familial LovePower and Control

Context: The recurring title phrase that frames the whole poem.

Analysis

The possessive "mine" playfully reverses the parent-child relationship, with the daughter claiming ownership of the mother. It conveys deep love but also the way a child "takes" a parent's freedom. Duffy balances tender affection with a recognition of what motherhood costs.

Language Techniques:

Possessive pronounRefrainRole reversal

Exam Tip

Use for possessive familial love. The reversal — the child "owning" the parent — is central to the poem.

“I run just one ov my daddy's shops from 9 o'clock to 9 o'clock and he vunt me not to hav a break”
Singh Song! — Daljit Nagra
Romantic LovePower and Control

Context: The newlywed narrator describes his duties at his father's shop.

Analysis

The phonetic "Punglish" spelling ("ov", "vunt") celebrates the narrator's British-Punjabi identity and gives a comic, affectionate voice. The long working hours set up the tension between filial duty and his desire to be with his bride. Nagra blends cultures and generations playfully.

Language Techniques:

Phonetic dialectRepetitionHumour

Exam Tip

Use for joyful married love across cultures. The dialect celebrates a dual British-Indian identity.

“my bride she effing at my mum in all di colours of Punjabi”
Singh Song! — Daljit Nagra
Romantic LovePower and Control

Context: The narrator describes his lively, rebellious new wife.

Analysis

The bride who is "effing at my mum" subverts the stereotype of the submissive wife, presenting a bold, independent woman. The phrase "all di colours of Punjabi" celebrates vibrant cultural identity. Nagra portrays a modern, equal and passionate marriage.

Language Techniques:

Phonetic dialectHumourSubversion of stereotype

Exam Tip

Use for an unconventional, equal relationship. The bride defies the stereotype of the obedient wife.

Explore More Love and Relationships Themes

Browse quotes by theme across all 15 poems, or view the full anthology.

Romantic LoveFamilial LoveLoss and AbsenceDistance and SeparationMemoryLonging and DesireNature
All Love and Relationships QuotesPractice with English Genie